Sumer Kolcak
That’s not how you grow cucumbers, Sumer. Not too long ago, one of my posts made the front page of several important websites. Sure, those websites were Turkish, but you have to start somewhere. There were so many people reading my God of Infinity post at some point that my website almost crashed. In […]
THE SUMER KOLCAK CHALLENGE: 1) Go to any airport in the US without any form of identification on you. Bonus point if you wear a turban. 2) Buy a one-way ticket from one large US city to another. New York is the most optimal destination. 3) While boarding your plan and going through security, hand any […]
Read my newest post on Sumer Kolcak, God of Infinity, on July 15th, 2014. THE MASTER RETURNS
5- Passport I used to have a Turkish friend. I say “used to” because I never really keep my friends for long, but I used to be friend with a girl from Turkey. Who, coincidentally, was also pretty crazy. And, I have to say, to my deepest regret, pretty as hell.pretty. Anyway, my Turkish friend had an […]
Is there anything that should ever be added to that masterpiece, really? Isn’t it absolute perfection already? Well, three years later, Sumer added an update under another name, in the same topic. Now, take a guess: do you think the update makes any more sense? Do you think three years made him more sane? Do […]
AND NOW THIS IS THE CLIMAX OF THE MOVIE: THE FINAL BATTLE. ARE YOU READY? ARE YOU FUCKING READY? CAPS LOCKS TIME! Let’s do this. So THAT’S where the data is coming from after all! Some guy who got naked in his apartment was “injected” with imagination. The mission…. The mission… Challenge even you, the […]
I’d like to take a moment here to indicate that this is truly where paranoia will begin to set in. If there is any psychiatry resident reading this, Sumer would make a fantastic subject. This guy is literally a walking DSM-V. Let’s read the next paragraph: DAMNIT! I’ve noticed phone calls in recent days, and […]
In this part, Sumer Kolcak shows his true nature and… Well, he gets dangerous for real. This is where… Well, let’s just say I was totally, completely opposed to the Patriot Act, but after reading this, I’m not so sure anymore. Oh fuck. No need to wait even a second more. Call the FBI, report […]
So THAT is the data. GREAT data. And you have decided to give it to us after all? OH MY GOD I CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH, SUMER! And your data is that any color that isn’t white is abusing humanity? And we are supposed to experiment on that how exactly? How, Sumer? On other websites, […]
A perfect beginning for a perfect text. I mean, you could stop reading here and pretty much guess what this whole text is about – and I do love that! Straight to the point, Sumer! One sentence and you know exactly is going to follow (take a guess?). The code to infinity has been cracked… […]
